Free Wood

The other day, on the way to the chiropractor, my mother in law and I saw a sign.  It was on crappy flat board, and the spray paint words read, "Free Wood."

Perhaps I should have started with an experience I had on Sunday while I was visiting yard sales.  We stopped at one and saw that they had several boxes full of old bricks.  I use the term brick loosely because they weren't actually bricks, they were manufactured blocks of salmon-colored brick-stuff of varying shapes and sizes.  There were no prices marked on the boxes, and I was thinking I'd like a few pieces to make a perimeter around my plant bed.  I asked the lady how many she'd give me for two or three bucks.  I mean it's a yard sale, so making offers is part of the deal--especially when you're talking about items that are not marked with a price tag.

I don't want to make this story lengthy or boring (as the situation turned out to be), but in the end she wouldn't part with them for less than a dollar per brick, claiming the value of the bricks was upwards of eighty to one hundred dollars a box.  Needless to say, I walked away brickless.

Now, back to the free wood.  I stopped and dug around in the pile and came away with several boards.  I did this with them:

I decided that although wood may not be as aesthetically pleasing as brick, it looks pretty darn good when it's free.  Also, if I'm going to pay retail prices for bricks, you can bet I will be buying new ones.

 Oh, by the way, the beans look a lot better now, I think.  Is it just me?  I think adding the potting soil helped a little.  The soil was very woody, so I used it as a mulch, and they have perked up quite a bit since I did.

It's time to name a crookneck, and I am lacking creativity.  I mean Squashy is too much like squash.  I was trying to think of something that goes with crookneck.  Curvy?  Curly?  I dunno.  I'm goin' with Squishy Junior for now.

Anyway, the point is that Junior is up!

What a cute little bundle!

Yawn... Okay, I'm up!  I'm up!

Since Junior was planted the same day as the cucumbers, it seemed only fitting that they should also sprout the same day.  I guess that makes them twins.  Cucumber, I dub thee Crunchy.

They're fraternal twins.  Crunchy is a bit more slender, and also not a squash.

I'm kind of in a hurry, so here are some pictures to enjoy.  Laters!

The end.

Itsy bitsy teenie weenie yellow polkadot zucchini...

Okay, it's not exactly itsy bitsy, nor is it teeny weenie.

Good grief, Squishy--control yourself!

But Squishy has yellow polkadots.  I don't know what they mean, but I'm hoping they're more interested in hangin' out and bein' friends than they are in destroying things.  Wanna be friends, Yellow guy?  Can I call you Yelly for short?  (It's not bad enough that I anthropomorphize my plants, now I'm anthropomorphizing their freckles too.)

Looks like someone sneezed butter.

Moving on, I also detect something a little off about Scruffy.  His leaves are rolling just a bit.  From what I've read, this can mean any number of things.  I just don't know which number Scruffy is dealing with.  Any suggestions, faithful readers?  No?

What gives, Scruff?

I'm hoping it's a watering issue that I can amend by... doing something else, I guess.

I was gone all day, and when I came home, it seemed like Climby had grown four inches and bloomed twenty more flowers.  So pretty and happy!

Such a delicate, feminine plant.

So dainty!

So demure!

But this is the best part.  This started happening earlier this week.  I'm not ashamed to admit that I squeed just a little bit.

Oh you delicious pod, growing so sweet and tasty!

The tendril wanted some attention apparently.

Ah, there we go.  Harbinger of yummitude!

This one is so itty bitty!  So cute, like a fat little infant.

I mulched Stunty (the slow growing green beans) with potting soil.  I hope that makes him a little happier.  They're hangin' in there, and they are actually growing, even if it's a little slow...

Happy little row of what I hope will be deliciousness someday.

This one's downright pretty.

The end.

What's the story, mornin' glory?

My garden's not dead.  That's the story.  Breaking news and all that.  I hope you're ready for some mornin' glory, because wow.

This is how my mornings generally go.  Miles, my son, bursts into the room and asks if he can let Nora out.  Nora is my two year old daughter.  It may sound like she's in a cage, but the truth is that although she knows how to open doors, she never gets herself up in the mornings.  She just whimpers and fusses until someone opens the door for her.  I think it's a carry-over from when she couldn't open doors.  When she figures out that she's not a prisoner in her own domain, we might be in trouble.

Anyway, as I was saying, Nora then runs into the room and pats me in the face saying, "Dee bup!  Dee bup!"  That's her way of saying get up if you find yourself a little confused.  So I dee bup.  Then there's the obvious morning stuff--coffee, breakfast, vitamins, juice, diaper, morning cartoons...  I'm not ashamed to say my kids watch cartoons in the morning.

When I get them all settled, I say, "I'll be right back, kids, stay in the house!"  Then I step outside.  And this is what greets me.

I spy sugar pea blossoms.

"Holy, holy, holy is the Lord of hosts; the whole earth is full of  his glory!"  Isaiah 6:3

I planted Early Golden something something.  Crookneck squash, basically.  I'm going to call this succession planting because it sounds better than lazy late planting.

This one has Muncher cucumbers in it.  I don't know what muncher means, but I bought it because it claimed to be burpless.

Scruffy, you amaze me more and more each day.  Just look at yourself!  In a good way!

What I hope will eventually grow up into some pretty flowers.  Not sure if I should thin them, but frankly, I don't really want to bother.

Anyway, back to Scruffy.  I'm considering pruning that low branch on the bottom left.  It starts at ground level, and it's branching way out.  Not technically a sucker, but I've been told that pruning the bottom branches is prudent to cut down on pests and diseases.  So that one may have to go.

Wow, Squishy has really grown a lot!  He's going to take over the world.

My children.  To the right, Miles, my night in shining short pants.  And to the left, Nora, hair like the sun.

Bush beans.  I originally named these guys Desmond, but now I'm considering renaming them Stunty.

East side climbing sugar peas, fringed by Stunty.

I really like this angle.

I also get to enjoy flowers.

See?  Aren't these delicious?  They are actually a much deeper red, but the sun is washing them out a touch.

Wait!  Are those mint seedlings?  I can't be sure.  Either way, I really wanted mint for mint tea this year, so I may buy some already established plants and just put them in the box so that I can have my wish granted.

Oh hi, Rooster guy!

The end.

It's a long story...

...Okay, well not really a long story.  But a dual-faceted story.  Trust me, it's much less interesting than it sounds.

So here's the scoop.  I was keeping Scruffy in a cloche of sorts, but he was getting too big to be all stifled up in there.  I really wanted to keep him out of the rain though.  It was really more of a sprinkle than a real rain storm, but it was steady and had been going on for several days (as it often does in the great state of WTF).  I decided to reassemble Scruffy's original canopy to protect his delicate leaves.

May I interject momentarily?  Thanks!  Man, for being a plant named Scruffy, he is an awfully fussy princess.  He does not live up to the name, I dare say.

As I was saying, I decided to erect his canopy once more.  But something was awry.  That something-was-awry was directly related to the fact that I had torn down the canopy in the first place.  The plastic roof, as it turned out, was no longer large enough to stretch from one end to the other.  Of course.  Why would it be?  You tore it apart getting it down, you nerd!  Anyway, The only way I could get it to work was by moving the grass-grounded stakes into the box to close the gap.  Naturally, this meant that the canopy was no longer sloped.  Also, it was really stupid looking:

Looks like the stakes are wearing an upside-down diaper.

So yeah.  Dumb looking.  And another thing--which I knew to begin with, because although I am a nerd, I am not an idiot--was that this version of a canopy would collect water.  And it did.  It eventually looked like a reverse pregnant belly.  Then I thought to myself, "Self, this is ridiculous."  So I went out and made this instead.  It worked much better:

Nothing like assembling a lean-to in the pouring rain.

In case you're wondering, I made a white wall to put behind Scruffy, because I heard a rumor that if you put a tomato next to a white or light colored wall, it will reflect heat toward the plant, thus encouraging good growth and ripened fruits.  Turns out this was supposed to be south facing, and also sunny in the first place.  This is east facing.  I've amended the location issue, but somewhat sadly, because now I can no longer see Scruffy from the window.  Ah well, such is life.

Since you've gotten this far, I'm going to reward you with more pictures of Scruffy.

Sunshine means Scruffy gets to come out and play!

Amazing how tall he's gotten since his "accident."  16 inches now!

Now, we must bid Burt a fond farewell.  I hacked him down to the stump because of a wicked aphid infestation, and he never even tried to grow back.  Poor Burt.  We will miss you!  And so will our spaghetti, which will be much less delicious without your yummitude.  Maybe I will find a new oregano plant sometime down the road.  But he will never replace Burt in my heart.

But check it out!  Squishy has grown a ton since I last showed him to you.  Something is nibbling teeny tiny holes in the leaves, but I can't figure out what.  He looks happy and healthy other than that.

I love Squishy 'cause he's so Delishy!

My Climbies are doing good.  The guys on the West side of the bed are very tall and mighty.  They've reached the top of the trellis, and now they're filling out a bit more.  Hope we get some sugar snaps soon!  They are my favorite of all the home growns.

Seems like yesterday you were just a tiny little sprout!

I neglected to mention that I pulled Burt out of the ground earlier today.  It took me about half an hour to work the roots enough for him to finally break free.  Now I'm sore all over and have a purple thumb from grasping the tool so tightly.  I moved the dresser drawer down to Burt's former home because it was warping and falling apart, so I figured the dirt was the best place for a planter that probably won't survive long enough to see 2014.  I'm still not sure I'll see any mint.  That box has been so inactive, and what little I saw in there turned out to be weeds.  So we'll see, but mostly I think it's a no-go.

My babygirl threw some flowers and a ruler into the drawer.  She leaves a trail wherever she goes!

On the East side, Climby is far less vigorous.  I attribute this either to the inferior quality of the soil, or the presence of wire worms (which are more plentiful on the East side than the West).  But they do continue to grow, even if they are a little drab.

Slightly less vigorous, but not too bad.

Very much less vigorous.  Keep tryin', little dudes!

I can't be sure, but I do believe I detect a tiny little bud!  I hope so, because this is about the time they should start producing.  A little late in the season, but I'm still hoping to get a few.  June is usually pretty mild here.  Crossing fingers.

Is that a bud?

I think so!

I set out new potato traps.  The old ones were getting pretty gross.  This time I buried them completely.  I knew I should have last time, but I was lazy.  So they got gross pretty fast.  Anyway, I didn't have any little stakes or popsicle sticks to mark their locations, so I mounded the soil and had my son, Miles, mark each one with a stone.

Yes, wormies... eat those delicious taters... muahahaha!

I honestly am not really sure what's going on with these bush beans.  They had really weird leaves, and almost looked like they had a virus of sorts.  I picked off the weird leaves, and I haven't seen any more weirdness.  But they aren't growing very quickly.  We have had a couple weeks of solid rain, so I'm sure that isn't helping.  We're supposed to have a good bit of sun this week, though, so hopefully we'll see a boost in growth.

So beanly!

"Oh hai, Mom!  How ya been?"

The end.